someone I dislike: *likes something that I like*
Me: great, now, it’s ruined
What your headache is tellin you
I haven’t seen this post in a min but precisely when I have a headache RN it comes up in my feed
Two quick additions, as someone who suffered from chronic migraines
1. Behind the eyes: eye strain or just long stress. More sleep will definitely make this feel better.
2. Temples: unclench your jaw, as that bone is putting too much pressure on your temples.
This is a fucking life saviour with the amount of headaches I have
A Wisconsin mall Santa decided to handle one of the naughty list members early this year when a young girl told him her Christmas wish was for her stepdad to stop molesting her. He and four of his elves attacked the guy, who was waiting nearby, and pummeled him unconscious.
An eyewitness recalled, “Santa didn’t say nothing. He just grabbed the back of the guy’s skull and headbutted him REAL hard.” The witness continued on to say, “Then Kringle got on top of him and just started pummeling him. He was laughing and screaming ‘Ho! Ho! Ho! Motherfucker!’
I love this.
There should be more stories like this
When your song come on and you getting ready to fuck shit up
If you add two pounds of sugar to literally one ton of concrete it will ruin the concrete and make it unable to set properly which is good to know if you wanna resist something being built, French anarchists used this to resist prison construction in the 80s
I’m just gonna go ahead and reblog this for purely educational purposes.
- *hears noises at night*: well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life
- *gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now how am I ever going to see my first born child
- *heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is
- *a cop walks by*: here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone
- *taking a test*: don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school and amount to nothing
- *gets a sunburn*: great now I have skin cancer how will I tell my parents
- *tripping over something*: I guess my leg will have to be amputated why did this happen to me
- *period is late*: shit i'm pregnant i'm the next virgin mary
in court
- judge: sir, where were you at 4:20pm last sunday
- me: well you see sir i was just blazin some dank ass kush
- my lawyer: same
- me: same
- judge: same
- police: same
- obama: same
